SOMETHING EXTRA

Hello blue-bloods, welcome to another POSH aristocratic Saturday. It’s really good to wind down after a stressful week, which I believe most of us have had. Oh my, how the week went by swiftly. Sit back, take off your shoes and pop them on the stool because we are going to relax, yet talk about serious issues.

There’s something that I have noticed over the years in relationships, I do not mean only the romantic ones but in the platonic ones as well, most of the time, misunderstandings happen and when you examine the root cause, it’s mostly because one person feels taken for granted or that the other person is not “trying” enough in the relationship. Recently, I talked to someone who felt that since he didn’t like visiting a lot, his partner was supposed to always come to visit him but since I was a witness during the argument, I firmly told him that visiting had to be reciprocal and with some minutes of talking, I was able to convince him; thank God.

I have thought about why arguments like this tend to happen, or why some of our relationships experience harsh weathers and some or most of the time, it’s because one person thinks the other person is always going to be there, so we slack, don’t do what we should or say what we need to say…even when we know the other person just wants to hear it. It could be a word of appreciation, or saying “I’m sorry”, “I understand you”, “I forgive you”, “You are special to me”, “I’m happy I know you” and the hardest yet most abused one, “I love you”. Why I say that is because, we chant ‘I-love-you’s to friends but some of the time, it’s just a chant, not that we don’t mean it but we don’t act what we say. Do you know the funny part is that these are mostly three-worded statements and when this person’s call is not as regular as it used to be, we get worried and feel left out, then call to say “you forgot all about me” but the thing is we started the forgetting and we are just withdrawing the amount stated on the cheque, except in some other cases.

Let us not make that mistake of underestimating the presence of people in our lives, be it a friend or loved one because even if you are feeling like a hot shot now in the person’s life, there is always a substitute, well, I believe so. You are not the be-all-and-end-all of the person’s life, so why not take your position a little more as a privilege. We pray for long life but none of us is guaranteed tomorrow, we only hope for one and pray for many. So, say a prayer, hug that friend, kiss that sibling, and say something nice, no matter how small. Many nothings count for something. (Adenike Ajayi)

Live, love, breathe and do something extra this POSH Saturday.

Loads of love aristocrats…Have a great week ahead...xoxo.

GOT TO BREATHE

Hello every blue-blooded lady and gentleman out there. I’m super happy talking to you today- another POSH Saturday. Just in case you had a stressful week, which I also had, you’ve clicked the right link. Today’s topic is going to be about something seemingly mundane but it’s of very great importance and should be imbibed by every single aristocrat.

About two weeks ago, my mom and I went to the spa, she went first and when she got out, she gushed about how the spa attendant was very good at her job and that the facial she had was calming and so on. I had practically started imagining how I was going to sleep during my facial as well, but lo, I entered the room, lay down and listened to the calm music, thinking to myself, “even if I can’t sleep, this music would make me sleep”, the music sounded like one of those “Zen” songs. The facial was supposed to last for about 40 minutes or so but then, trying hard as I might, I didn’t sleep off and from what my mind told me, I had been there 15 minutes. I was so preoccupied with getting some rest and not thinking; that I thought myself out of not thinking let alone sleeping. After a little bit of anxiety, (I don’t remember what happened) I guess I stopped thinking or became “unconscious”, the next thing I heard was “don’t worry, you are still here” and I laughed. I actually felt good…I rested.

Apart from my experience painted above, do you normally set out a day or hour to rest and that time becomes the busiest yet, of your existence? You know most times, we overthink not-thinking that we end up overthinking and then we ask, “I was supposed to rest today, why is it that at the end of the day, I still feel so worn out?” I’ve recently discovered that the antidote to stress and the way to relax is by stopping your thought process especially the ones about how “sad” your life is at the moment. If you have a mind like mine, you may be thinking about a zillion things a minute, just that alone, is enough to stress you out and rob you of the rest you desire. Another thing is to be yourself and if you are like me again, there’s a tendency to overthink things- your words, your actions, even something as ordinary as ordering a shoe online. I’m not saying, just talk off the tip of your tongue or act like someone who’s not altogether, mentally…

I’m just saying, being a little more carefree is the best way to relax especially if you are tightly wound up. Don’t be so intense; it steals the joy of the simple from you. Things don’t have to be that hard.

We are over a thousand page views and counting, thanks a lot guys for making it possible, I hope to read from you pretty soon, I would like to read about some other views. Love you all for coming here to know what I think and most likely what you’ve thought about as well.

Remember to enjoy the moments and b-r-e-a-t-h-e. Have a POSH ARISTOCRATIC Saturday…xoxo

SPICING IT UP...

Hello my darling fellow aristocrats, welcome to another POSH Saturday, I didn’t want to start this till I hit the 1000th pageview but so far, so good, we are almost there and I want to say a big thank you because you all made it happen. For all that had it as PMs or shared links, I want to give an ARISTOCRATIC wave, more like a hug. I also say a very big thank you to my editor- you are awesome!

In the course of trying to find out what blue-bloods thought about the blog and how they wanted to see it grow, I came across loads of suggestions and I just thought I would start incorporating some of them.
I'd like to create visuals, that is, before talking about something, you would have seen a picture and then, your mind could tilt towards what would be discussed thereafter.

Also, I want to spice the blog up by asking blue-bloods what they would like to have discussed, so this does not become a teacher-class thing. It is going to be from one blue-blood to another. These will serve as special episodes depending on the frequency of “hot topics” which blue-bloods would like to have discussed. For example, one of us wants to shed some light on “being comfortable with being imperfect”, the person writes a short note on it, sends it to my email (damolajayi@gmail.com) and the topic becomes a probable feature on FROM AN ARISTOCRAT’S PERSPECTIVE. I would also like to say here that if the post is eventually featured, it would be edited but would still have your name, as the contributor, at the end of the post and if you would like to stay anonymous, well, we’d discuss that in the exchanged emails.
Another spice would be that I would feature another perspective from a blue-blood but in this case, it would not be called the “aristocratic” perspective (if you get what I mean). I would share a topic and it would be side-by-side with the other perspective (this perspective doesn’t have a name as the contributor wishes to remain anonymous).

So, sit back, relax and enjoy our spiced up aristocratic moments, now called POSH Saturdays. I would love more suggestions, contributions etc. as we try to expand our aristocratic network.

Have a lovely weekend aristocrats….xoxo

BRICK WALLS

Saluting all my partners who believe in style, worth and class (our aristocratic fundamentals), It’s another Saturday to spend with you and I appreciate your support by just reading this. Have fun. 

Ever wanted to do something and you felt like you were pounding hard against a brick wall? Not that the wall wouldn't break eventually, it was just taking too much of your time, concentration, effort, focus…in fact, it was taking all of you. I went through a similar experience when I was about to start writing this article. Each time I read through, I felt I was missing the mark. I had a topic in mind but the article didn’t seem to be heading in the same direction as the topic.  At some point, I wanted to shut down my laptop and just come back later but I thought, “hey, when would later be?” We all encounter this “brick wall” moment at different times in our lives, we could experience it in trying to form a new habit, go on a diet, et cetera and during this moment many questions rush into our heads like; “How long is this going to take?” “Why am I even doing this in the first place?”, “Is it really necessary?” “Isn’t there another way out?” and the likes… Most times we just want to say “You know what? I’m done with this! There's gotta to be an easier technique” but then we find an “easier” technique and don’t stick to it, whine and quit and there we have the vicious cycle.

Who do we put the blame on in this case…ourselves? No, blaming yourself is too hard a sentence for the crime committed, as it tends to lead to other side effects like depression and I’d like to stress at this point that we don’t even have enough time to live and do all we want, to give some seconds to depression or feeling unworthy. Frustration is part of progress; it’s never one smooth sail all the way. My suggestion would be to ask yourself, “how many unfinished “projects” or things do I have on my plate?” Whether it’s just one or many, the best thing would be to make sure you don’t clog your sink with unfinished projects if you have few, as few + few = a lot in no time and if you have a lot, you don’t want to end up having to pay for damages to the sink. So don’t quit trying to be an early bird or trying to appreciate the people in your life more, better still, don’t quit trying to do something that makes you a better person. The journey may be long and the roads may be winding with too many U-turns but with your eyes on the prize, run to your desires and remember, if you become too weak to run or walk, crawl but go after what makes you happy. Best of all; go after what makes you an unadulterated aristocrat.

Remember to kickback, embrace the colours, live your life to the fullest… enjoy the moment

Loads of love my darling blue-bloods…xoxo.

Also want to debut this amazing wallpaper that my friend designed for the blog... (lovely right?)