Saturday 28 December 2013

AND...IT'S A WRAP


Hello Blue bloods, Compliments of the season, hope you had a POSH Christmas? I'm so thankful we made it to the last Saturday and POSH moment of 2013! Thanks for your time and support from the get-go.

So I've learnt a lot, I'm sure we all have, but these are my top three lessons of 2013;
* Never say never.
* Life is very individualistic, therefore, comparing yourself to another is like a lion asking himself why he is not a leopard.
* Your happiness counts most of all...
These and many more I have learnt in the course of the year, have made me less judgmental about people or situations. Ponder on these and make sure 2014 counts for you. Here's a poem, IT ALL HAPPENS IN LIFE, composed by one of our POSH readers, Joel, author of FOREVER AND A YEAR MORE.

It all happens in life,
Disappointments and falls,
Strong, pick yourself up
Weak, keep falling.

It all happens in marriages,
Arguments and fights,
Strong, make it work
Weak, make it flop.

It all happens in dreams,
Dreamlands and nightmares,
Strong, dream greater and further,
Weak, wake up from the slumber.

It all happens with you,
Success and failure,
Strong, its up to you
Weak, still up to you.

It's funny how we could be the cause yet the solution to our challenges, and as always, the choice is ultimately ours. I wish us all a prosperous 2014, dream big, work hard and expect the best. 

Loads of love darling aristocrats. Cheers to the future!

Photo Credit: nrn2197-i1.jpg

Saturday 14 December 2013

DON'T PASS THE BULK!


Hey blue bloods, how was your week? Mine was great…got to learn new things. I hope yours was too. 11 days to Christmas…yay! I remember when I was younger and it was all about the food, the hair and the decorations. Now, it’s about spending time with the people I love and ultimately, the One who loves me. We shall be discussing a topic which I feel we can all relate to…or most of us. Kick back and enjoy.

In my short life, I have wondered why I get frustrated making some people around me happy. You know when you jump to the rescue (Superman/woman), wanting to be there for a dying friend, sick colleague…just show you that you have their back…not that it’s a bad thing, it just needs to be managed because there’s just that likeliness inside us that tends to take advantage of or take for granted. In the past week I have listened to one of my favourite teachers and I have started to realise the bulk is not on me.

Have you ever been at that point where you feel like no matter what you do, it’s not just enough? Or you end up with the shorter end of the stick? Another teacher of mine said, “Be careful of high maintenance people, no matter what you do, it’s never enough.” You have to know just like I know now that we are not responsible for other people’s happiness. You can make someone happy but you are not responsible for keeping the person happy. That my love, is a function of choice and not the equivalent of love like we misunderstand. So do what you can but don’t let someone give you grief because they aren’t being responsible for their happiness. They most likely have other deep seated issues which they have to sort out first and they will suck the happiness out of you in that contagious mood swing. Sometimes, it’s good to be there from a distance.

I’m not trying to discredit some of us that are dependent on other people to make us happy. I was there once and I did not feel free until I realised that me being happy was a function of me deciding to be happy. In effect, I became less disappointed in people. We all go through stuff (if that’s the excuse you are about to throw in my face)…we’ll all go through more stuff and life is too short. So take your pick? Option A- Live your life, constantly being sad and frustrating others around you or Option B- Seize life and be happy.

Remember, enjoy the moments, every day is a gift from God. Have a great weekend.
Loads of love blue bloods…xoxo

Photo credit: http://quotesstack.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/happinesswithin.png

Saturday 7 December 2013

SETTLING...

Hullo darling blue bloods, how was your week? Mine swept by but doesn’t it always? Reminds me of that rhyme, “Tick, says the clock, tick, tick, what you have to do, do quick!” Thank you for taking time out to read this, it’s good to know that there are POSH minds everywhere.

Just a small story to guide us into our main discussion. Yesterday, as I was getting ready to go out, I saw the ducks and swans come out of the lake and as usual were looking for what to eat, I had fed the ducks before but not the swans so I looked up at the digestive biscuits I had on my shelf and thought to share. I broke one piece in two and threw them out my window, one of the swans just passed by it; I threw a whole piece, the other swan just walked over it, I began to think, “These swans are too POSH for this biscuit”. It looked like the ducks got wind of the windfall (pardon my pun) and then started coming towards that area, so I broke the biscuits into pieces before throwing them out. To my surprise, duck and swan alike as well as surrounding flying birds came to party. I said to myself, “Oh Swan, I thought you didn’t do biscuits.” LOL. That’s not my main point, another shocker was that they kept accepting the pieces that I threw from the window but as I write, the whole piece of biscuit is still there. Throughout that period, they all stepped on it, passed by it...and their heads were down most of the time looking for something to eat. Thinking they could hear me, I kept screaming, “there’s one down there, see that biscuit” and the next duck walked over it. I gave up at some point…I had somewhere to be.

I’m sure by now you get my drift, they settled for less...pieces…some of them even fought for one of the many pieces. Meanwhile, there was a whole biscuit just waiting to be found but kept on getting walked over or passed by. I likened myself to the Creator and thought, maybe this is how He watches in amazement at how we make poor choices for ourselves. Settling for the pieces, when there is that one whole biscuit just for you. I can almost bet that that piece would be there for the next week. We have many talents, relationships, ideas that would fetch us happiness, satisfaction and most likely be an answered prayer but I think as humans, we tend to clutch to fragments of what’s left and we fight for the scraps that someone hands down to us and feel that the person is even being gracious to us. You deserve more, I deserve more, We deserve more. Don’t be content with the scraps, why beg for water when you have access to the fountain?
Tap into that talent, reach into and out of yourself, find that God-given deposit in you and be the next game changer just like Nelson Mandela- the definition of a fruitful tree. RIP Madiba (1918-2013).

Remember to enjoy the simple moments, they only last for so long. I love you all…xoxo

Photo credit: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb8iEAGb2JqPUUwVZz5hKciSxjop5J6L_NG5C71_LaIF8wV5pZmYLS-Vk8p7BFoKGnkSvGwjZRoJv4mOjClUiGI7Cxn9zKaQTpRWO5cBm7DXZGvf7wG4PtgrDz1Bi-aGkl_bilk19Rbtk/s320/mandela415x479.jpg

Saturday 30 November 2013

A CLOSER LOOK

Hi blue bloods, how was your week? Mine was good, eventful and a bit stressful but the good part is that November has finally come to an end, 31 more days and goodbye to 2013. This really begs the question, “What have you accomplished this year?” I don’t mean accolades exactly…if you have broken a bad habit or made a good habit in the course of the year, you have done yourself some great good. Now, what’s our hot topic for today? Please sit back and toast to the weekend and the beginning of another month. By the way, it's our 20th post (Yay us)!

Some of us suffer from the internet sickness. Where did I get that from? I’ve noticed over time, and no judgement passed, but it is just funny how much we hang on to the catchy phrases of internet posts and swallow stories, hook, line and sinker. I didn’t want to write about this at first but I feel it’s about time we believed in the statement, “there are two sides to a coin”, and you know what? It’s not actually two sides, I think a coin is a three-dimensional object. We read something about a person and then without proof, we just go ahead to assume it must be the right information, forgetting that this is based on someone’s view about that particular person. Let us look at it this way: Two people ask me for an orange, I turn one person down and I give the other, when each person is to give a review, it’s most likely that the one I did not give the orange won’t have something nice to say about me and what do you know, the other person could say I gave him/her the orange out of pity (the human mind is that complicated).

This does not only relate to what we see or read on the internet. It relates to our everyday life, and I’m also just trying to get the hang of this but how long does it take for us to assume a person’s lifestyle or personality at first contact? Truth is, most of us, assume the way a person, thing or situation is based on hearsay. There are some obvious attitudes that could tell us about a person’s character or lifestyle or what the real situations of things are but most of the time, all we need to do is take a closer look. We may end up missing out on the relationship of a lifetime or something really beneficial to us. At the same time, you may have been right about that thing or person. Whatever the case may be, a second look might be worth it.

Live, Love, Have fun and Soak in the moment. Best of all, be grateful for this season of your life.

Loads of love aristocrats…xoxo

Photo credit: http://www.nysscpa.org/cpajournal/2006/1206/images/FrontImage.jpg

Saturday 23 November 2013

JUST GO WITH IT

Hello my fellow aristocrats, it’s been a very demanding week (but we all survived it, didn’t we?) It’s great to have another POSH moment and it’s really hard-to-describe how the year just seems in a hurry to end. Happy birthday again to all Novie celebrants. Today, we would be talking about a rather interesting topic but as always, I’d leave you to be the judge of that.

Looking at the dictionary meaning of flow, we see words like ‘intense’, ‘unhindered’, ‘steady’, ‘eloquent’…it means a flow cannot be hidden, even if you try to. If you ask someone what flow means, it could be just that ‘thing’ that keeps a conversation going. When there is no flow, you feel yourself having to do the extra work, even smiling seems like a chore, you just want to get out of that situation…but what happens when you find yourself in a situation where you have to induce a flow? Such as a birthday party in which the only person you know is the celebrant who may be a cousin or close friend and whose friends you are clueless about (you can’t speak to only your cousin or close friend, chances are she is mixing up with everyone). What about a get-together with a group of classmates you might have said a total of ten words to? Either way, you are in the situation already, so just go with it and from my experience, you might end up having so much fun.

It’s easy for us to stay in our shells, (at some point in everyone’s life, the ‘alone’ time need comes – that’s great) and it’s much harder to reach out sometimes but an effect of that could be depriving yourself of the joys that come with everyday living. The deal is with a positive mind-set, you could make the best out of that situation, in fact, any situation at all. Most times, you just need to go with it and not know every single detail, as unplanned events sometimes, end up turning out better than well-structured ones. So, just go with the flow.

Thank you for taking time out to read this piece; it’s encouraging how many POSH people there are in the world. Don’t forget the POSH mantra- enjoy the seemingly mundane moments. Look out your window, take in that crisp air, we live in a gorgeous world.


Have a great week ahead. Loads of love my Blue-bloods…xoxo

Photo credit: http://www.google.com.ng/url?sa=i&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&docid=LiJpjBNyquX_OM&tbnid=54m43C7l_C-MnM:&ved=0CAgQjRwwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F66217056991490518%2F&ei=-3mQUs7bOYWI0AXf24HQCQ&psig=AFQjCNESuL2hDUdXjzIJNYw-1t4Ui2Hjpw&ust=1385286524019686

Saturday 16 November 2013

BEING UNIQUE...MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND

(At about this time, I would think that I’m done typing anything, spent most of my time typing in the past week). Hello my darling blue bloods, don’t mind me, I’ve been really busy for about a fortnight now and that’s the last time you heard from me. Hope your fortnight has been good? Well, it’s a juicy topic today, okay, you decide that for yourself. Thanks for taking out time to read this.

Have you found yourself in a situation or a bunch of situations where you are in the front-row premium class seat watching your life play out before you? Many characters - some are extras, some just show up and snatch the lead roles (duration depends), some are like a blast from the past (good or bad, and they come when you least expect it), some are the main characters and you are the man/lady of the show. I have found myself in this position for the past few months and I’ve been amazed at how much of myself I have discovered- my flaws look like they are in 3D, and you know the funniest part is that you can’t avoid you, it's even more difficult when you play the 'audience' role (you know how quick we are to judge, like, "Oh 'Thor' didn't really flex his muscles in this movie." The most amazing part is that I have just been myself and embraced myself more than ever before, I can’t remember a point in my life where I have felt this comfortable and happy with my uniqueness even with those '3D flaws'. It’s not all smiles and rose petals all the way but I get this ‘Oh, really!’ moment almost every day as I unfold like a flower blooming in summer and I believe every day I become more beautiful (Forgive my ‘pride’).

I know at this point you are wondering, “What’s her point?” Voila! My point is just enjoy being you, feel comfortable in your skin. These words sound a dime a dozen but they are very true. We all weren’t meant to be perfect, if we were, there would be no room for mistakes, if there was no room for mistakes, there would be no room for self-discovery or recovery, if there was no room for self-discovery or recovery, there would be no uniqueness, if there was no uniqueness, there would be no variety and if there was no variety, life would be plain b-o-r-i-n-g! You are weird, so what? Who isn’t? Just imagine a world full of just you…it would be so weird, right? LOL.

Have a wonderful POSH Saturday my fellow aristocrats…Enjoy the moment and enjoy YOU…xoxo

Photo credit: http://www.techiemania.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Unique-content.jpg



Saturday 2 November 2013

FOREVER AND A YEAR MORE

Hey blue bloods, it's another POSH afternoon. Hope your week has been great? Welcome to November and Happy Belated Birthday to my POSH editor and all "Novie celebs". Speaking of, we are almost done with 2013...how quick?! We have a feature today, something quite different from what we are used to (I'm happy some of you are truly SPICING IT UP...keep it coming :) )

Poetry is good for the soul, it could be therapeutic, it could be a message, it could be funny, it could make you reflect...it serves many purposes, so sit back, relax and enjoy this debut poem from one of us...

I know Ill be scared this day,
Looking down that well-laid flowered pathway,
Thinking, is this the right choice?
Will it last forever?
Or should I wait a year more?

I know Ill be scared this minute,
One step at a time,
Feeling like the whole worlds shaking under me,
And then I ask myself,
Is this how its supposed to feel?
Should I be confused?
Or should I wait a year more?

I know I should be scared this second,
But when I look straight up to her gleaming eyes,
Her wonderfully crafted smile,
I tell myself,
She has always been the right choice,
And it will definitely last forever and a year more.

                                                                                    -Joel

Reading this poem again...and again, made me realise something...reflect and decide what this means to you and remember to have fun and enjoy the seemingly simple stuff.
Loads of love....xoxo.

Photo credit: http://i.lv3.hbo.com/assets/images/documentaries/a-childs-garden-of-poetry/slideshows/a-childs-garden-of-poetry-04-1024.jpg

Saturday 26 October 2013

SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW, SOMETHING BORROWED

Hey bluebloods, It’s an evening POSH moment today, been swamped with quite a lot but haven’t gotten to do much- quite an irony, right? I hope your week was great, mine was…some answered prayers. Today I want to talk about something old, something new, something borrowed…

So, I’ve been thinking, what really is letting go? If I were to sit in my "royal seat" and judge, I would say, it’s as simple as deciding that something is not good for you and moving on but as reality has rained on me, it’s never that easy, although the person telling you to, makes it sound just that way. It may just be a bad habit like my strange love for POLO sweet which is not good for consumption every day or something as grave as the loss of a loved one, whatever the case is, it’s hard to let go but that’s not what I want to dwell on…the fact that it’s hard.

The truth is that although it’s a slow and painful process with a thousand knives carefully finding their way through your heart and your feet feeling like they are stuck in the mud, you can let go, anytime you feel like, especially since in this case, it’s the best thing for you to do. The process is pretty long, it starts from denial, you hear you trying to re-assure yourself that nothing is wrong and you try hard to convince yourself that it’s not what it seems…but it is. Then you start to get angry, mostly at yourself because you are asking yourself the victim question, “why me?” It must have happened to you for a reason (a good one at that), trust me, it’s best to look at it from that point of view so that you don’t end up a self-pitying lunatic (very true, it can mess with your psyche). The most important part is when you ACCEPT that this is something you have to deal with, we all have to deal with something at some point. That my dear, is the beginning of the journey to recovery and sometimes, self-discovery. It’s a hard process but to taste how sweet the corn is you have to heat it up first.

This piece inspires me and speaks to me in some way and I hope it does same or more for you. Life, my darling blue-bloods is not meant to be endured and is not meant to look like a video in which a rat is helplessly looking for a way out, and come to think of it, you are not a rat… (No offence to the animal kingdom). You know the surprising thing...most of the time, we hold the keys to our escape.

Remember, enjoy the moment…too many beautiful things happening to pass up on…
Loads of love…xoxo.

Saturday 19 October 2013

ARISTOCRATS' DIGEST


Hey blue bloods, 
I don’t have much to say today but I would love to share something that comes right from my heart.
* Never ever let anyone make you believe that you are what you are not. Translation- don’t give anyone the license to cheapen your existence including your personal achievements, your attitude (not excusing bad attitude here though). In essence, things that make you, you.
* Always take your time, keep walking and stop running. I’m not saying you should lack pro-activity, I’m saying most importantly, go at your own pace and don’t be in a hurry. You’ll be happy you did.
*Don’t pay the price for what you did not bargain for but whenever you decide to get a package, it is your responsibility to go with whatever the package contains. You can’t claim ignorance for something you asked for, consciously and most times unconsciously, you can only deal with it.
*Be as observant as you can be. It is necessary for survival. 
*Lastly, be in love with yourself (not cocky and ‘badly selfish’), you may find out nobody else loves you more than you do. So, do what you want to do, express your desires and do what makes you happy. Be happy to escort whoever is not in for the ride, off the bus- probably wasn’t meant to be there anyway. Besides, you will be making space for someone who would love the tour.

Loads of love my darling aristocrats, have a wonderful week and as always enjoy the moments. It’s a bright day for me, with loads of possibilities and I hope it is for you too.
P.S: I would be looking forward to reading about your perspectives.

Xoxo…

Saturday 12 October 2013

SOMETHING EXTRA...FROM ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE


Hello blue bloods...I know it's been two weeks already and no word from me, I apologise. Just like everyone out there has, is doing and will do, I have moved on to another phase in life...quite eventful I might add. My post is a bit early today but I've missed out on the aristocratic fun and wouldn't want to let this POSH Saturday slip by. I hope your week wasn't as daunting, anyway what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

You know a fortnight ago I shared my thoughts with you on SOMETHING EXTRA and remember on SPICING IT UP, I said there would be topics I have talked about but from another perspective. The debut of that "spice" is today. So, plop down on your couch, put your feet up, and peruse something extra...from another perspective.

"Hello blue-bloods, welcome to another POSH aristocratic Saturday. It’s really good to wind down after a stressful week, which I believe most of us have had. Oh my, how the week went by swiftly. Take your shoes off and kick back because we are going to relax as we talk about some serious issues.
I am of the point of view that when relating to people the way you are with one person differs with the other, this should not be used to value your relationship nor am I talking about privileges you give to those you are romantically involved with. I’m simply saying that some people are capable of smothering you with attention while others are not capable of any attention...people from different backgrounds and upbringing should not be forced to be what they are not, so it is necessary to know your friends, understand and love them as they are… Accommodation is key in all relationships and this rule must apply both in romantic relations and otherwise, it’s not about making sure your love is tit for tat, it's a about finding someone that is compatible with you or finding your own way to accommodate a person, again depending on your own nature. No relationship can be exact in terms of love given and received but if you learn to accept people, you learn that in your inequality you’d find an acceptable balance."- Anonymous

When I read this perspective, I was wow'ed by it. It's very refreshing to see something from another perspective- broadens your horizon, makes you see the world through different lenses. Of course, you don't have to agree with every other perspective but it would be great to see from one other than yours.

Remember to live your life for yourself and responsibly, enjoy the moments, your relationships, the cool breeze, the sunny day, the home cooked meal...We are not guaranteed a tomorrow, we only hope for one and pray for many. Loads of love....xoxo.

Saturday 28 September 2013

SOMETHING EXTRA


Hello blue-bloods, welcome to another POSH aristocratic Saturday. It’s really good to wind down after a stressful week, which I believe most of us have had. Oh my, how the week went by swiftly. Sit back, take off your shoes and pop them on the stool because we are going to relax, yet talk about serious issues.

There’s something that I have noticed over the years in relationships, I do not mean only the romantic ones but in the platonic ones as well, most of the time, misunderstandings happen and when you examine the root cause, it’s mostly because one person feels taken for granted or that the other person is not “trying” enough in the relationship. Recently, I talked to someone who felt that since he didn’t like visiting a lot, his partner was supposed to always come to visit him but since I was a witness during the argument, I firmly told him that visiting had to be reciprocal and with some minutes of talking, I was able to convince him; thank God.

I have thought about why arguments like this tend to happen, or why some of our relationships experience harsh weathers and some or most of the time, it’s because one person thinks the other person is always going to be there, so we slack, don’t do what we should or say what we need to say…even when we know the other person just wants to hear it. It could be a word of appreciation, or saying “I’m sorry”, “I understand you”, “I forgive you”, “You are special to me”, “I’m happy I know you” and the hardest yet most abused one, “I love you”. Why I say that is because, we chant ‘I-love-you’s to friends but some of the time, it’s just a chant, not that we don’t mean it but we don’t act what we say. Do you know the funny part is that these are mostly three-worded statements and when this person’s call is not as regular as it used to be, we get worried and feel left out, then call to say “you forgot all about me” but the thing is we started the forgetting and we are just withdrawing the amount stated on the cheque, except in some other cases.

Let us not make that mistake of underestimating the presence of people in our lives, be it a friend or loved one because even if you are feeling like a hot shot now in the person’s life, there is always a substitute, well, I believe so. You are not the be-all-and-end-all of the person’s life, so why not take your position a little more as a privilege. We pray for long life but none of us is guaranteed tomorrow, we only hope for one and pray for many. So, say a prayer, hug that friend, kiss that sibling, and say something nice, no matter how small. Many nothings count for something. (Adenike Ajayi)

Live, love, breathe and do something extra this POSH Saturday.
Loads of love aristocrats…Have a great week ahead...xoxo.

Saturday 21 September 2013

GOT TO BREATHE


Hello every blue-blooded lady and gentleman out there. I’m super happy talking to you today- another POSH Saturday. Just in case you had a stressful week, which I also had, you’ve clicked the right link. Today’s topic is going to be about something seemingly mundane but it’s of very great importance and should be imbibed by every single aristocrat.

About two weeks ago, my mom and I went to the spa, she went first and when she got out, she gushed about how the spa attendant was very good at her job and that the facial she had was calming and so on. I had practically started imagining how I was going to sleep during my facial as well, but lo, I entered the room, lay down and listened to the calm music, thinking to myself, “even if I can’t sleep, this music would make me sleep”, the music sounded like one of those “Zen” songs. The facial was supposed to last for about 40 minutes or so but then, trying hard as I might, I didn’t sleep off and from what my mind told me, I had been there 15 minutes. I was so preoccupied with getting some rest and not thinking; that I thought myself out of not thinking let alone sleeping. After a little bit of anxiety, (I don’t remember what happened) I guess I stopped thinking or became “unconscious”, the next thing I heard was “don’t worry, you are still here” and I laughed. I actually felt good…I rested.

Apart from my experience painted above, do you normally set out a day or hour to rest and that time becomes the busiest yet, of your existence? You know most times, we overthink not-thinking that we end up overthinking and then we ask, “I was supposed to rest today, why is it that at the end of the day, I still feel so worn out?” I’ve recently discovered that the antidote to stress and the way to relax is by stopping your thought process especially the ones about how “sad” your life is at the moment. If you have a mind like mine, you may be thinking about a zillion things a minute, just that alone, is enough to stress you out and rob you of the rest you desire. Another thing is to be yourself and if you are like me again, there’s a tendency to overthink things- your words, your actions, even something as ordinary as ordering a shoe online. I’m not saying, just talk off the tip of your tongue or act like someone who’s not altogether, mentally…

I’m just saying, being a little more carefree is the best way to relax especially if you are tightly wound up. Don’t be so intense; it steals the joy of the simple from you. Things don’t have to be that hard.

We are over a thousand page views and counting, thanks a lot guys for making it possible, I hope to read from you pretty soon, I would like to read about some other views. Love you all for coming here to know what I think and most likely what you’ve thought about as well.

Remember to enjoy the moments and b-r-e-a-t-h-e. Have a POSH ARISTOCRATIC Saturday…xoxo


Saturday 14 September 2013

SPICING IT UP...



Hello my darling fellow aristocrats, welcome to another POSH Saturday, I didn’t want to start this till I hit the 1000th pageview but so far, so good, we are almost there and I want to say a big thank you because you all made it happen. For all that had it as PMs or shared links, I want to give an ARISTOCRATIC wave, more like a hug. I also say a very big thank you to my editor- you are awesome!

In the course of trying to find out what blue-bloods thought about the blog and how they wanted to see it grow, I came across loads of suggestions and I just thought I would start incorporating some of them.
I'd like to create visuals, that is, before talking about something, you would have seen a picture and then, your mind could tilt towards what would be discussed thereafter.

Also, I want to spice the blog up by asking blue-bloods what they would like to have discussed, so this does not become a teacher-class thing. It is going to be from one blue-blood to another. These will serve as special episodes depending on the frequency of “hot topics” which blue-bloods would like to have discussed. For example, one of us wants to shed some light on “being comfortable with being imperfect”, the person writes a short note on it, sends it to my email (damolajayi@gmail.com) and the topic becomes a probable feature on FROM AN ARISTOCRAT’S PERSPECTIVE. I would also like to say here that if the post is eventually featured, it would be edited but would still have your name, as the contributor, at the end of the post and if you would like to stay anonymous, well, we’d discuss that in the exchanged emails.
Another spice would be that I would feature another perspective from a blue-blood but in this case, it would not be called the “aristocratic” perspective (if you get what I mean). I would share a topic and it would be side-by-side with the other perspective (this perspective doesn’t have a name as the contributor wishes to remain anonymous).

So, sit back, relax and enjoy our spiced up aristocratic moments, now called POSH Saturdays. I would love more suggestions, contributions etc. as we try to expand our aristocratic network.

Have a lovely weekend aristocrats….xoxo

Saturday 7 September 2013

BRICK WALLS


Saluting all my partners who believe in style, worth and class (our aristocratic fundamentals), It’s another Saturday to spend with you and I appreciate your support by just reading this. Have fun. 

Ever wanted to do something and you felt like you were pounding hard against a brick wall? Not that the wall wouldn't break eventually, it was just taking too much of your time, concentration, effort, focus…in fact, it was taking all of you. I went through a similar experience when I was about to start writing this article. Each time I read through, I felt I was missing the mark. I had a topic in mind but the article didn’t seem to be heading in the same direction as the topic.  At some point, I wanted to shut down my laptop and just come back later but I thought, “hey, when would later be?” We all encounter this “brick wall” moment at different times in our lives, we could experience it in trying to form a new habit, go on a diet, et cetera and during this moment many questions rush into our heads like; “How long is this going to take?” “Why am I even doing this in the first place?”, “Is it really necessary?” “Isn’t there another way out?” and the likes… Most times we just want to say “You know what? I’m done with this! There's gotta to be an easier technique” but then we find an “easier” technique and don’t stick to it, whine and quit and there we have the vicious cycle.

Who do we put the blame on in this case…ourselves? No, blaming yourself is too hard a sentence for the crime committed, as it tends to lead to other side effects like depression and I’d like to stress at this point that we don’t even have enough time to live and do all we want, to give some seconds to depression or feeling unworthy. Frustration is part of progress; it’s never one smooth sail all the way. My suggestion would be to ask yourself, “how many unfinished “projects” or things do I have on my plate?” Whether it’s just one or many, the best thing would be to make sure you don’t clog your sink with unfinished projects if you have few, as few + few = a lot in no time and if you have a lot, you don’t want to end up having to pay for damages to the sink. So don’t quit trying to be an early bird or trying to appreciate the people in your life more, better still, don’t quit trying to do something that makes you a better person. The journey may be long and the roads may be winding with too many U-turns but with your eyes on the prize, run to your desires and remember, if you become too weak to run or walk, crawl but go after what makes you happy. Best of all; go after what makes you an unadulterated aristocrat.

Remember to kickback, embrace the colours, live your life to the fullest… enjoy the moment

Loads of love my darling blue-bloods…xoxo.

Also want to debut this amazing wallpaper that my friend designed for the blog... (lovely right?)


Saturday 31 August 2013

JUST SAY NO


Hey blue bloods, how was your week? It's another Saturday and the end of the month-- something to be thankful for, to kickback and bask in some aristocratic light. Please read with an open mind and have fun doing so.

I was participating in a survey my friend had asked me to a couple of weeks back and then I noticed something, I remember stumbling on it before but seeing this just made me resonate with the fact even more…. In places where there were YES or NO questions, I saw that the next question was “If YES…” It made me wonder, why wasn’t there a question like “If NO…”  That’s when I realised “NO” is a sentence, not just a word.

Many of us, I inclusive, find it hard to say NO to some things and some people that we have come across in life. Funny enough, you know that just saying NO would be the better option but we always want to taste the topping forgetting that in a matter of seconds, you are “downing” the whole ice cream.  You should say NO to picking up that call you know would waste the next 2 hours of your time which you have planned for something else. I’m not saying that a YES is evil and that you shouldn’t indulge sometimes but saying NO as I’ve come to find out, liberates you from as much headache as you can be free of.  Life throws us a big snowball of questions every day, if you dig deep and weigh your options, you would find out that NO would be the correct answer to some of these questions.  Whatever you choose though, be ready to stick by your guns.

I’d sign out with something my dad told me a few years back- on my birthday, which was, “in life, let your YES be YES and your NO, NO”. For some reason, those words have never escaped my mind and heart and I would say they have shaped some of my decisions and helped me to stick to them firmly, Today, I’m on my way to being the best, because of them…as well as some other things. Remember that a YES-YES man is not always taken seriously while a NO-NO man is thought to be a rigid and probably pessimistic human but if you ask me, when you are not so sure, the NO street is best travelled. Saying YES and then not following through reduces how much people are willing to trust us to do certain things.

Live like an Aristocrat today and enjoy the moment. The skies are blue, the grass is green, the roses are red...life is all about colour and appreciating the seemingly mundane things.

Loads of love. xoxo

Saturday 24 August 2013

PUZZLED?


Mes aristocrates, it’s the end of another wonderful week, I don’t know if it’s because I’m older now but the weeks seem to fly by…its Monday morning, then, Friday night…just like that. I’m thankful to be alive to see another weekend, another Saturday, another moment to spend with you.

I think we would find common ground on the subject of confusion or in milder terms, “not knowing how to deal with some issues.”  New day, new drama, no preparation beforehand I could say. At some point, we never know what might hit us the next second, minute, hour, week, month, year…we only plan that we would be at a particular point in our lives at a particular time but some things happen “too soon” or “too late”. Recently, I was looking at my journal where I wrote down my life plan and I smiled at how seemingly “clueless” I was when I wrote it. Now, the plans for 2013 have been modified. Trying to deal with the changes that I have encountered in my life, I have been drawn into clouds of sadness because I was quite rigid to change (still a work in progress I must admit). I loved the fact that I could say where I’d be in 15 minutes or years but as I have come to find out, when change occurs, confusion comes along with it because we begin to wonder what we are going to do with this new job, new plan, new responsibility, new whatever-it-may-be… Adjusting to this new situation can be very daunting but as humans with survival instincts, we find a way around it, don’t we? You whine about the new job which was nothing like your expectation but in a matter of weeks, you may even catch yourself saying “my job is quite interesting”. (I know that’s not a usual phrase…lol).

My point in all of this is that life in itself is some kind of puzzle and like all puzzles; you get stuck at some point. One of my favourite authors, Kristin Billerbeck, said in one of her novels, “Confusion is part of God moving you out of your comfort zone”. So, don’t be afraid to stretch yourself. It’s not so easy but it’s better to be dynamic with change than static with it because change is a force; it doesn’t leave you the same and you get to miss out on being sad. Besides, the whole fun of life will be sucked out if everything was just so predictable; we would live life with no enthusiasm at all. Even in our relationships with others, we have the upper hand when we are perceived as mysterious and unpredictable. Being confused helps us challenge ourselves mentally and trust me, the brain needs to be exercised a lot.

Darling blue-bloods, don’t forget to enjoy the moment, that’s the spice of life and a true aristocratic way to enjoy life.

Loads of love…xoxo


Saturday 17 August 2013

ZOOM OUT...NOT IN

Good morning my amazing blue bloods. We are blessed with the weekend again, time to sit back, relax and evaluate our week, hope for the coming one, spend time with friends and family…. Whatever you choose, just spend it grateful for seeing the weekend.

I was going through the pictures on my phone sometime during the week and remembered when a friend of mine taught me a shortcut on how to zoom out on pictures on that phone, when I had just acquired it, almost two years ago. I remember that when he showed me, I said “Oh!” letting this new technique register in my head and since then I have always used it.

Another time, while reminiscing after a phone call to a friend who had just suffered a loss, I started thinking about what it was I was so sad or angry about, and I couldn't place it. It was as if whatever my situation, it was nothing compared to hers and you know what, she still told me, “It is well.”  At first, I thought she was still in denial but a closer look at the situation, and I remembered; don’t zoom in on your problems... Zoom Out!!! I also realised how thin I looked in a picture when I zoomed out but when I zoomed in, it felt like I was trying to accommodate a life-size doll into a small Barbie box.

Many times we zoom in on our challenges, staring them in the face and getting cowered by them, not acting on them or saying “Right back atchya” and telling them who the boss is. Little wonder why they take so much space in our minds, looking so insurmountable, and that’s because we haven't learnt to stop pressing the zoom in button. In no time, we are sad, angry, and unable to enjoy the good that’s left; a significant amount of good I might add.

On the other hand, when we zoom out, we realise how little those problems are afterall. Thus, seeing ways around them, above them and even through them which gets us wondering why we were even bothered in the first place, or get us saying a slang I know, “Smallz".
Remember this; your life is defined by your perspective.

Life’s too short my fellow aristocrats to miss out on the smell of the roses. Let’s take that deep breath in and just enjoy the crisp air.
Remember to have fun today, live it up.

Cheers…xoxo

Saturday 10 August 2013

LOSE IT…AND FAST TOO


Good morning my fellow, darling aristocrats. What a lovely day it is, I’m so inspired today and I think you should be as well. More often than not, we need it to get through the hustle and bustle of the day… that’s not our focus this morning, but I just thought to quip it in.

This morning, would you believe that on my way downstairs for devotion, that friction-less pair wanted to shame me again? Only this time, I didn’t fall; I held on to the railing. I didn’t get the round of “sorry, hope you are fine?” this time, I just heard, “It’s the slippers”, “You had better be careful with it”, “Is it every day?” “Better still, change the slippers”. Funny part was that I was thinking about falling mistakenly but that’s a topic for another day. The point is that I chose to finally do away with the pair of slippers- it was about time, right? I mean, it had caused me enough already and a speech about how important my tail bone was and how I had to use a cushion to sit because of a fractured tail bone, a while ago. Now I’m walking with a new pair of slippers, not friction-less this time and I’m glad I am.

More often than not, we want to manage a situation or condition, an unhealthy relationship etc., wishing and willing that it would change and we keep holding on till we get hurt or lose our way completely. I'd like to encourage you, blue bloods; an aristocrat does not force it. If it’s not right for you, you’ll see some signs. Now, it’s not about seeing the signs, act fast when you see them before you fall and worst case scenario, sink because there is no railing to hold. Do away with your 'pair' today, and be free from the fear of falling or do otherwise. As always, the choice is yours...

Loads of love blue bloods.
Remember it’s all about the attitude…xoxo.


Thursday 8 August 2013

THE E.N.D

Hey blue bloods,

How's your day going? So, I wanted to share something with you that could push us one step closer to the aristocracy we desire. The aristocratic fragrance I could call it. On a daily basis, we get to meet a lot of people- face-to-face, social media etc., and we come in contact with a wide range of personalities- some good, some bad and some downright ugly. We even find out that the people we talk to everyday, give a different personality ooze, every other day. In the past and truthfully, up until now, I've struggled with personality conflicts with myself and with people I have come to know. One day, someone who is all over you and establishes the "best-buds" notion in your head becomes "stand-off'ish" the next day, that can be quite confusing and in some cases, it hurts that you can't depend on the constancy of some emotions from people you are close to. 

Normally, when I fly, I get the jitters when there's some degree of turbulence. Apart from the realisation that air is rather abstract and is not tarred or made of concrete like land which is enough to trigger these jitters, I always asked, "why can't we just have a smooth glide through and just land?" Then, one day, it hit me, change is really the only constant thing. Why there is a change is easy and at the same time hard to tell most of the time, but things and people do change, whether you want them to or not. So at some point, you have got to expect it, especially with humans and that's because there's a range of emotions a person gets exposed to each day and that really affects the aura they give, depending on the thought and attitude pattern of the person involved.

I came up with three facts that I feel could get us through changes which at the E.N.D of the day are inevitable. I tag them the E.N.D to always questioning that change that happens in life and people:

1. Everyone's opinion is theirs and each person including you, is entitled to have one, some, many (it's a sub-section of the fundamental human rights)... but just because they voiced it, tweeted it, posted it or acted it, doesn't mean you have to swallow it hook, line and sinker. After all, it's not yours, it's theirs. You can disagree with it but you don't have to shut them up or down because of it, totally a waste of your time since it results in arguments or as we best know now, tweet-fights and for those who aren't verbally able to stand up for themselves, it's bullying.

2. Never be bothered about what people say about you especially when it's not constructive, including your "friends". I'm not saying that you should shun good advice, emphasis on good  but like we have come to discover, there are just those people, hmmph! Those people who are like ticks, that seem to just have a knife and fork ready to dissect, be it your words or actions. Most times, they are intimidated by whatever you do or whoever you are- always in constant competition with you (just hyping you more...You know, some people have all but words, they actually think what they say hold water and add to your life at that point in time but those are the people I care for cos they are just delusional and seem to need some sort of attention cos there's a vacuum, in there, somewhere and bashing other people is how they get by. It's just like someone arguing that a Beetle is better than a Bentley- the expert shrinks have to be involved or there's some gi-normous absence of taste. You know when someone is speaking like they got you all figured out, yet they have not the slightest clue). By the way, people always have something negative to say... just check out some comments on Linda Ikeji's blog, even when it's good news, you can not but wonder. They cheapen your success stories and make your achievements look like an ordinary feat, ask yourself, "if they were so good, why don't they have similar success stories". Most of the time, you discover that this set of people have nothing good or nothing at all going on for themselves, so the negativism is like retail therapy.

3. Do not be sensitive. This is by far the most valuable to me. I'm quite emotional but even emotionally detached people tend to break at this point in time. You know those biting words or remarks meant to make you feel stupid like discussed earlier would be made, sometimes even by you to someone else. The best thing to do is just have the tortoise's back... let it roll over. Some people even say things to you to "encourage" you. For example; your friend says, you are just an NFA (someone with no future ambition), probably because he/she has noticed some lax tendencies in you. What I try to do in times like that is just extract the positivism from the statement and use it.

Aristocrats survive not because they have some in-built negativism repellent but because they realise and understand that what makes you you is on your inside, not what people have to say about you or how they act towards you. We don't even totally understand ourselves, yet we are the best story-tellers of ourselves, so why let some wannabe story-teller of you get to you?

Stay blue-blooded...xoxo

IS IT REALLY NECESSARY?

Good Morning my Blue-bloods,

What a bright and sunny morning it is here, makes me look forward to how the rest of the day will turn out. Hoping to get a lot done today...With that being said, here's my aristocratic message to you this morning...

Yesterday, I was to seal a deal...(ok, before you start thinking ad contracts etc., not like I am not open to those, email me about any offers, lol!)  and then I got talking with some friends...I needed to get something but there was an even better option. I had actually settled for the cheaper option because that was what I could afford at the time but then one of them said it was better for me to get the more expensive, better-features version. It was tempting, but that would mean that I have to add extra funds and dig a deeper hole into my savings, which I was not ready to do. So this was what I started thinking, I have two options:
1. I get the more expensive option and then some months later, it would become obsolete but the damage would have been done to my savings or
2. I get the cheaper option and save myself the financial discomfort. I chose the second option cos that was more logical to me and like I have stressed, that's what I could afford.

Here's my point in all of this, sometimes we are faced with many decisions especially with our finances and with the way the world is moving, it's hard to keep up, new things become obsolete very fast, almost immediately. Most of us get caught up in trying to keep up the pace, that we end up going bankrupt and if we do sit down to count the cost or take account of what we actually spent the money on, it was not for something we really needed at the time. Have you ever had that feeling where you pine for something so much, you eventually get it and then after about 5 minutes of satisfaction, you are like "so, this is it? this is what it's all about? why did I waste my time?...bla...bla...black sheep." We really have to get a grip on how we spend, if we have to, and focus on investing in things that would yield good returns.

An Aristocrat prefers to invest his/her money in what may make him lose some comfort today but would make him ride in style in the future. It's not blue-blooded to invest in something that would make you appear comfortable now but poor and stupid sooner or later. Be kobo wise and naira wiser...
What do you think?

Remember, it's all about the attitude...
xoxo.

Tuesday 6 August 2013

HARD AS WE MIGHT...

Most of the time, we struggle to keep or maintain the balance especially because we juggle a lot -- school, work, relationships etc. As a blue-blood, you try to live up to the expectation of the effortless, "right everything" lifestyle. I know it's hard, I try to do that almost everyday. Let me take you through an experience I had earlier today and what I made of it.
    
I slept rather late, at about 4.30 am, had to wake up for devotion at 6am. I heard a familiar voice calling my name and since my subconscious is already "programmed" to answer, I just said "Yes, I'm coming" and like always, I snooze for extra five minutes because I'm thinking, "before everyone gets down there, I'd have had extra five minutes of sleep". The next thing, I woke up after maybe ten minutes and realised that the singing had begun. I jumped up, quickly made use of the loo and started running downstairs. That was when my friction-less slippers gave what was supposed to be my subtle devotion appearance/entrance, away.... And SPLAT! My rear is on the staircase, bouncing about three more steps forward before I got that balance... There was a rush of "are you okay?", "hope you didn't hurt yourself?" and one funny one "what is wrong with you now? do you want to injure yourself?"  I replied with "I'm okay, no problem".

Although I was in the presence of my family members but I was embarrassed for about...a second, cos everybody thought that I fell off cos I was sleepy and truth is, I was wide awake considering how I jumped off the bed...or so I thought. That's how it is with us most times, we try so hard to paint the perfect picture of our lives and we fall flat on our faces and everyone can see that you are actually struggling with something... Something that you could have easily talked to a trusted friend about. The deal is, it's okay to be normal and process pain or stress like a human. Sometimes, it allows people see the "fleshy" you and not the metallic, "Bree Van de Kamp" you. Sometimes, you can cry, that doesn't make you a weak person, it just shows that you've got blood in your veins and you aren't one of the Avengers. Besides, you never know who may lend a helping hand.

So be in touch with the human aspect of you. Most times, allowing ourselves take part in those emotions can release us into taking the next course of action. I'm not saying be a whiny, emotional wreck, I'm saying admit the way you feel instead of putting on a show or living according to how people expect you to live....and just take it from there. I'd like to add at this point that truly admitting our feelings concerning issues we face gives us stronger answers and steps to take than ignoring them all together.

Funny enough, I find this post very beneficial to me....lol! 

Have a lovely day and Stay blue-blooded. xoxo

Monday 5 August 2013

WELCOME ABOARD!

Welcome to the blog that empowers you with a sense of style, class and worth. The three prominent traits of a true aristocrat.

Just looking at it, everybody wants to be called an aristocrat which according to the Encarta dictionary is either a member of the highest social class, a superior person or a member of a governing aristocracy. Truth is, not everyone can be called that because many of us don't "fit" into these particular descriptions of an aristocrat.

Just a few things to note...
  • First of all, its not pride to think of yourself as superior. I'd rather be superior than inferior. I don't suggest cockiness and condescending attitude, I mean, having a sense of worth is far better than having none.
  • Another point is that, you exude what is on your inside. Therefore, if you want to be considered an aristocrat, it starts from your lifestyle- your attitude, appearance, mannerisms even to the littlest detail.
  • Your thought process is tres important. Thoughts translate into words which translate into attitudes which translate into habits which translate into character which is the general makeup of one's personality or in the bigger picture, one's life.
We are blue-bloods. Let's live up to that standard. By taking the step to read following posts, let your thought process be transformed. It's all for that ARISTOCRATIC you to come out...it has been in there all along, waiting for you to tap, tap, tap.

AS YOU APPROACH THE FINISH LINE...


I’ve walked on this planet but for a short time, yet, if there’s anything I've learnt so far, it’s that the choices you make affect your tomorrow. (I know what you think, tale as old as time, but with recent events in my life, I have seen that the decisions that you make…you don’t even have to think of the long run, for example, it affecting your children. The immediate effect can be as terrible as the sting of a bee, even worse). So, it’s high time you made the right decisions. I’m going to try to make this as fun as possible so that you don’t yawn more than you already have and I have a certain group of people in mind---- Final Year Students.

          I recently graduated from a prestigious university and I’m glad to say that I saw, fought and conquered (abi! How do they say it?). It’s no normal university where they aint faking it here. I learnt so many lessons about life in the short five years I spent (although I was not saying that when I was in my first year) but the most profound of them all were learnt in my final year. I would highlight as much as I can remember;

1.      You need intrinsic motivation- OK, I've been taught that there are two ways people get gingered- from external sources (extrinsic) and from within themselves (intrinsic). Prior to my final year, I was a people-pleaser, I loved my friends to death (not like I don’t still do…to an extent…lol), I was loyal, let’s just leave it at that, still am tho. When I got to final year, (I so love my father for the life lessons he taught me on rides to different places and my mother in her subtle way of extending devotion for 2 extra hours in the name of bonding…lol. It paid off), not like I didn't know already but the real meaning of O.Y.O (on your own), was spelt out. That’s when it wasn’t about whether your friends where ready to go to class, once you were ready, you left. If you were nice enough to say “see you in class”, then you are a terrific friend. I am someone who takes my time, and I mean t-i-m-e, to even bathe, so I got left behind a couple of times and at first I felt bad but then I sucked it up and told myself, “that is life and everyone has his to live”...and puhleeze! I can’t reduce my minutes of bathing, the skin don’t stay fresh by willing it to, *flips hair*. Back to the subject, there were times I even told myself that “It doesn’t matter if I pant to the finish line or look like a broom when I get there, as far as I got there, aint nobody got time for that.”  Blue bloods, sometimes, you won’t even have time for makeup, so if you are an addicted “makeup-er”, you could tone it down and establish harmony between your au naturel look and your diva look (watch out for tips later). Do all you can to encourage yourself and make sure you get to that finish line, it may look long but at the end, the sacrifice, the nights of not "crashing" on time and waking up like Godzilla will all be worth it, cos trust me, you won’t remember them, all you would say is “I’m glad it’s over”. Work as hard as you can, hmmm; I’m stressing it now oh. My friend used to say “hey, I heard you were the agile one” (lol!) but my dear, if agility works 4 u, better grab it by the horns, in fact, you should try to be remotely agile. Need I stress the DON’T GIVE UP ON YOURSELF mantra, in case, you aren't so buoyant in the academic field, make sure if it’s something you can work on, you get it done on time. Don’t fool yourself and join the band wagon, cos it’s just you with that matriculation number. Please don’t belong to that class that says “if it aint broke, it don’t need no fixing.” Try your very best to make sure that you get your issues straightened out and on time, not at the dying moment.

2.   Take lectures seriously- Please be on time for lectures and make sure that you get front seat, it is gold. Cos the first day of a particular course is essential, so much that, if you don’t understand the first lecture, the entire course won’t make sense to you. If you are not a fan of writing, now is the time to invest in it, write and jot as much as you can. Let’s not forget the courses that have weigh a ton, you should know by now they are boosters, try your best to understand, even if you don’t, get a friend or course mate that will teach you (now is the time to famz, pride don’t cut it here). If you are silly enough to form for anybody at this level, it won’t be funny when you have to re-take the course(s). At this point in time, you will have most of the lectures with your course mates, please, you have been with these people, for what, 4-5 years approx., how stupid can your question be? Even if, no knowledge is wasted. So ask that lecturer a question.
Reminder: Your assignments and class tests really count, so study hard for them and maximise the opportunities to do so. Try not to do them last minute as well, it can be very stressful doing that especially when you have an 8 am lecture which you may have every day of the week.

3.   Projects- At this point in time, you must have heard of the different kinds of supervisors available in your department or faculty. There are the “good” ones and the "not-so-good" ones as well. I’d like to stress at this point, that no matter how good your supervisor may be they hate people who have the "lazy odour" thing going on. Like I said earlier, this is no time to slack in whatsoever manner. Get to know your supervisor on time, famz appropriately, always go to his/her office and register your identity, lest thou be denied on the day of defence. My supervisor is one supervisor you can be blessed to have but show your face, it is very necessary, right from when they have pasted the list of supervisors and supervise-es, you would do yourself good to start the famz-ing on time. Take your project seriously and from time to time, go and meet your supervisor and show him/her how far you have gone and ask for suggestions in areas you need help. Even if he/she is like stone, at some point, the “persistent widow” style works (after all, we all use it to get stuff from les parents or friends).
This excerpt is for those who will fall under my supervisor-
A. Start famz-ing on time.
B. Start working on your project on time.
C. Give him progress reports.
D. Even if he gives you an email address, please print out your abstract to conclusion at every step and give him to read to make the necessary corrections, unless you have all the time in the world for clearance.

4.    Use the library- That’s for people who don’t see the quietness of the library like some kinda yoga moment. I kinda noticed that, the total number of times I went to the library to read in my final year was more than the total number of times I went from my 1st to 4th year. This is because at this point, I realised the hall was just for sleeping. Don’t be surprised that you may fall asleep, so try to go with a friend or tell that person next to you to wake you up, just don’t drool beside the person. If you are not a fan of the library, in your departments, there would be free classes especially on Fridays because as final year students, you shouldn't have a clogged up timetable, you may have one day that’s fully booked but not all days will be like that. So maximise every free time you get. Don’t waste it in the hall; time is short, like really brief. Even if you read for just 2 hours, which may not be enough, you have done something good, it will help in the day of “trouble”.

5.   Write out a daily plan- this may be hard to do but it helps you evaluate your day at the end and helps you prioritize and manage your time. You could write it as bullet points with the time you want to start or the time that task should have been accomplished.

6.   Stick to the ethos of your institution- I sound all lawyer-ish…ha-ha!! But really, stick to the school rules as much as you can. Try your best not to flout any, 'cos for some reason, final year students are like tasty feed to some wolves. So, please don’t fall victim. It doesn’t make sense for you to come this far, especially if its engineering or medicine (not undermining four year courses) to end up getting kicked out. Sometimes you don’t bite as much as you can chew 'cos there’s just a tendency that your brain fools you into overestimating what your mouth can take.

7.    Be mindful of the company you keep- I sound old but this is true on many levels. Don’t deceive yourself by surrounding yourself with as many cushion pads as possible, in the name of friends, you are on your own. What is good for the goose isn't necessarily good for the gander. As I have found for myself, what may work for everybody doesn't work for me, and I’m glad I am Miss Unique. I've gotten into more trouble in times where I haven't followed my heart or gone with my guts but listened to what some people had to say. If your friends will pull you back from the finish line as at when due or get you sent out of the race, then, tactfully remove yourself from the crew, after all said and done, you came to Earth and probably that school on your own and may not see donkey years after, that’s if, you’d see them ever again in life. There’s no clique on the graduating list, just so you know. And as I've been told by a wise man, “20 children don’t play for 20 years”.

8.   Your mess is yours to fix- Never ever leave yourself at the mercy of anybody. As much as it depends on you, make sure that you try your best for yourself as it concerns only you at the end.

9.    Pray hard and Rest adequately- I would have said be spiritual but the pastors would tell you more on that. My final piece of advice is that you pray hard. You are at the tail end; so many things go wrong at this time. It’s at this time, some people face the first disciplinary panel or get sick or worse, die. This is not to scare you. Real is your adversary; more real is your God. Talk to Him, pray hard. Tell your parents and loved ones, not to shout your fame and tell the whole world you are in final year. The more ignorant your enemy is of your achievements, the safer you are.

Rest is something that we all need. You may not get enough time to rest and even if you do, it won’t be for the amount of time you are used to. When you get it, maximise it, cos you’ll need the energy from it, later during the day. Even those power naps (about 30 minutes- 1hour) go a long way.

Blue bloods, as you approach the finish line, I beg you, don’t let anything distract you or keep you from reaching it. At this time, it will seem like forces of sleep, time, relationships etc. are against you but just develop a tortoise’s back and let it roll over. Yeah, you may reach your breaking point, that’s the time to stretch your elastic limit even more. Maximise every moment you have with your books, your REAL friends, because every moment counts. Be happier. Surround yourself with positive energy and thoughts of peace.

I’m looking forward to reading your own guide to final year students, this time next year. I hope this guide speaks to you and that you make the best use of what you’ve read as I wasn’t privileged to have one.

I would like to state at this point that this article is also suitable for as many that don’t fall under this category but happen to be spoken to by it. Feel free also to chip in your piece of advice.

Loads of love…xoxo

Stay blue-blooded.